This is Timothy. Outside of work, he goes by Tom, but in a professional setting he prefers his fake full name. It’s more… serious. He takes this role very seriously. I do not.

Timothy is my self-appointed, non-negotiable assistant who has successfully negotiated a low workload, a flexible schedule, and unlimited naps.

He believes his role is to supervise my work hours and judge my decisions — usually by sitting directly on my desk, placing one paw on my arm for moral support and light judgment, walking across my laptop to type important gibberish, or turning my music off at random. He calls this “management”.

His daily schedule is rigid and productivity-focused:
Eat. Walk on desk. Watch me. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.

Deadlines are handled by delegation. Feedback is ignored unless it’s positive. Motivation is food-based. He claims to be a social media manager and content creator; this has yet to be verified.

Timothy is compensated with wet food, playtime, and cat-hotel holidays. Late payment results in loud meowing and emotional pressure.

He frequently joins client calls uninvited, and rumors about him snoring loudly are, unfortunately, true.